Let Me Have Your Pain

This weekend I heard some really sad news about a friend and it caught my attention for the majority of the weekend. I found my mind wandering the sermon during the sermon which probably wasn’t the best thing to do. I couldn’t really help it that much though. I wish my friends wouldn’t really go through so much pain in there lives. When it hurts one person in our family it hurts a lot of people. We all kind of feel some pain. I cried about it this morning. I can’t imagine what this person might be feeling right now. Actually I can a little. I have gone through some the same things, but its up to this person if they really want to talk. Anyways I really hurt for this person and it reminded me of all the pain that a lot of my friends are feeling right now and I couldn’t believe that everybody had so much going on right now. I hate it that so many people have to suffer. I really wish I could suffer for them. I remember Paul had that reaction too. He wanted to sacrifice his eternal life for all other’s eternal life to be in heaven. It’s really amazing that he had that heart. Well I can’t say I’m sacrificing my eternal life, but maybe this one. I don’t want others to hurt. I wish I could do it for them. So that morning I tried for the first time to cause some hurt. Not many people know that though. No I didn’t cut myself. Lately though I’ve been having a problem with my stomach. I feel nauseous and woozy after eating just about anything and I regurgitate a lot of my food. So that morning I stuffed my mouth with cookies purposefully. I was hoping that I would bring it back up and go through a little pain. Its funny though. It didn’t happen that easily but it did happen. And afterwards I realized how dramatic I was being. A year ago when a closer friend left I wasn’t anything near suicidal or self-inflicting pain, actually the pain that came with the leaving kind of was enough. I guess this was different though. This was a different pain for both of us. This wasn’t the other person was just leaving. This other person was now feeling a different pain that came from hurtfulness. I pray for this person and I wish they would be better and that everything would work out. She doesn’t deserve to go through this. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. Please God let her know that she is loved and she is NOT rejected by any means at all. We all love her so much, let her hear our love for her. I know one thing though. Superchic[k] was right. Beauty comes from pain.

Ok I guess I got some feedback about this post. Anyone reading this does not have to worry. I am NOT bulimic or have an eating disorder. I did this once, and it was because I was being an emotinoal sap and really really stupid. I just wanted to explain my feelings in this post, and I thought that might help explain them. Please stop hounding me about my problems, think about hers.

Meet My Love

the porcupines have come for you!!!
the battle between the smurfs and the porcupines has lasted for centuries
but i think the tables have turned
they have finaly figured out where your fortress lies and are on there way!
This was an interesting conversation that I didn’t have online one day. My friend is dating this guy that goes to her school. She of all people was the person that we didn’t think would ever date but her we are and she has an obsession. I guess she isn’t actually dating him but its supposed to happen sometime soon. They absolutely adore each other though. Anyways, the first time we met him was a while ago when me and her family were visiting the campus and she popped up on me that there was a guy that she liked. Talk about surprised. I didn’t know what to say. Well he is a superbly tall person that surpasses my height easily. I was amazed by his height however he was the shyest person ever. He was funny actually. We would ask him question and he would just kind of answer them quickly. He was really afraid of my friends dad. I guess he was a little intimidated by meeting the dad. Well I was polite and didn’t try and make him feel too embarrassed or anything like that. A few days later though I was talking to my friend and she informed me that her new hobby was reading along right next to her and so I wrote something really funny like how I loved him and I wanted to hold him. It wasn’t anything serious just something to rattle his chain and see what he would do. It was hilarious to see that he didn’t freak out. He just kind of laughed. So I kept it up with my little joke and I never got a real response from him. To tell you the truth I haven’t really talked to him in person at all. And then one day I got his IM address and I asked to invite him. And he responded to me while I was away from my computer and actually wrote the above statement. I was rather confused. So tell me, do you know what he means?

The Youth Unite: Jen Jen

Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen. Has a nice ring to it huh. And not ony does it have a nice ring but it is the next contestant on "Who's that youth group girl who is actually graduated and has left us for a college right in the middle of our year?" Alright our first clue is that she's a girl. Your second clue is that she is the daughter of the Jensens and a sister of Deanna who was featured long before. Give up? It's Jen Jen. Jen Jen is a 19 year old girl in love with Christ. With today's day and age Jen Jen has been improved and now comes equipped with a Josh, (bf i think). Jen Jen spent her younger days in our youth group being an inspiration for all. She is allergic to a million and one things and takes a habit of stabbing herself with insulin before every meal. YUM!!! Jen Jen can be seen taking several vacations to a certain island called Turltle Isle where the turtles live and so does Jen. Jen now spends most her time hanging with her books staying up till the early hour of the morning and still acing all her classes. Although she runs on nothing at all and is completely crashed by the end of the school year she moves on and does more work than she can handle. She is one of the rare Molly handlers out there and probably one of the best.

Jen has a lot more to her than just small children and tall red-headed guys. She's beautiful. But that's not what I'm getting at. Jen has a HUGE heart and a passion for God. She holds her standards high for dating (although not high as they used to be) and strictly follows the Lord in every step. She is a great encouragement and a giant inspiration for anybody. She knows God's Word better than most people I know memorizing whole chapters at a time. She follows his Word carefully and takes careful consideration into every aspect of her life. She truly follows the Lord in every way and loves Him. She's encouraging to others and faithful to all and loving to anybody. She is awesome.

The Youth Unite: Hannah

Hanananananananananananah. It’s Hannah. Hannah is a Hannah of Hannah’s and irreplaceable. Hannah is an awesome friend. She has been attending our youth group for quite some time. She is also one of the many who travel long distances just to reach this wonderful family once a week. She is a nice person with a dark style, but its okay because she doesn’t actually buy all the stuff. She has attitude and she won’t let you pick on her. She fights meaner than most boys and can definitely stand her own ground. She has two ferrets of whom she is infatuated with. These little beasts are her pride and joy. Except for her lovely boyfriend as well, it would seem as though our youth group is beginning to pair up with others. Hannah is an artist as well, she has the talent of a gecko. I don’t know if geckos have talent but she is just as talented that is for sure. She also has other talents that we may think will lead her to be a demon hunter some day. Or maybe a fiddler, because man can she play. In fact she is part of the band that her whole family travels around playing at churches and other conventions and she has an awesome talent of being able to play so much and do a great job. If you didn’t know she does have a massive brother by the name of Levi who was mentioned way back, but their relationship is more mutual than anything. Ladies and Gentlemen this is Hannah.

The Youth Unite: Amy

Trombonin’ it up is our friend Amy. Amy is our musically talented friend. She has playing Trombone for a long time and has become a great scholar at it. Not only does she scholar at Trombone but she is a scholar period. She has an amazing education surpassing many. She has only been at our church for about a couple of years but we have enjoyed her presence the entire time. She became a Christian actually at our church and has been a great encouragement and enlightenment. She has so much fire for God. She has a strong relationship with God and follows His Word very carefully. Strong in her faith she lives up to it in her school as well. She is a public schooler and therefore part of the minority. And yet there is no wary or tripping in her faith, she remains strong. She brings a light mood to any event we hold and she is most enjoyable at all events. She is a prayer warrior and a great leader. Everyone give it up for Amy.

The Youth Unite: Mafoo

Mafoo. Which derives from the term Mathew, which is Mafoo's real name. Mafoo is the most eccentric character we have at youth groups. He has quite the character actually. Alas he as moved from us though. While he was with us though he blessed us with a midget type character with a exaggerated emotions and loud shrieking Scatter ball war cries. He is fast and bare footed. He moves like a mongoose and looks like a porcupine. Except he has grown his hair out now and looks more like a dog than a porcupine. This wide-eyed dwarf now lives far away but remains in our family. He couldn't do it without us. Mafoo is an accomplished claymation artist. Actually he's got WAAAAY too much time on his hands. But at least he does neat things with it. He makes neat awesome art as well. In fact you can view some of his art on YouTube, that is if you can find it. Mafoo is also a master at killing the dude. Being mostly creative he can kill the dude or defend the dude with quick precision. Mafoo is gullible beyond all extents believing every word that he hears. If you were to tell him he was a chicken yesterday, he would believe you. Mafoo can scale tall buildings, but it takes him a couple of days. He has to get all the equipment and then do lots of stuff and camping out. Eventually he makes it there. Well, I can’t really describe Mafoo in any other way, so if you want to know more just talk to him yourself. Ciao.

The Youth Unite: Jazz

Jasmine is the princess of Aladdin’s world and this Jasmine is the princess of Joe’s world. She is truly a princess as well. She comes from a fun loving family that consists of a lot of strange people. Jasmine herself though, not so strange. Very cool actually. First of all she wears Converse. What else could you actually want from a girl. Then she is very pretty. Long golden lochs of hair fill her head making her very beautiful. She is a quiet person though. She doesn’t speak up too much though, and she doesn’t participate in games too much, but she enjoys scatter ball which is all we ask of her. Don’t think she is a push over though, you anger her and she will come back at you like a chimpanzee. WACHAWOO!!! Otherwise she is a calm person keeping to herself most times. Wow, I’m really not sure what else to say about Jazz, if you have suggestions, give me a comment or two. Gracias y ciao.

The Youth Unite: Joe

And now we can finally return to our previously scheduled program: the Youth Unite. Today's special guess, and he is quite the special one, the last of the Abbate siblings, it's Joe. Joe is a small unmeaningful child full of creepy gooey things. I don't know the name of them. It has been known that Joe has an obsession with Elmo the sesame street character. What isn't probably known is that his obsession has gone far enough to actually kidnap the character and is hiding him in a small puppet ring around his waist. Joe is compulsive and scary at most times and he has known to lash out with a pop in the face. The only known weakness of Joe's is a pie. Joe loves pie. His favorite flavor: pie flavored pie. A simple pie in the face will take Joe off of his feet and render him absolutely helpless. Because of Joe's smallness he can creep up on the most unspuspecting victims and squeeze the bajongers out of them. Believe me, I am a victim. He seems to appreciate the fuzzy sweater vest as a nice resting area. BEWARE: DO NOT WEAR FUZZY SWEATER VESTS AROUD JOE. Joe definately has some resemblences to his brother. In that they are both very, very loud. Impossibly loud actually. And very random. Joe also can eat anything he wants too and lots of it. He has a black hole for a stomach and just consumes things by the table. And when it does come to food he becomes extremely territorial. Beware stealing food from Joe as well. The thing that Joe probably hates the most which is the one thing that seperates him from the rest of youth group is that he hate POTO.

Alright can you say LOL. Because I was actually just having a lot of fun with that. Actually Joe is not really like that. That would be Joe in the extreme sense. It's true he likes Elmo, but he's not filled with creepy gooey things or anything like that. Actually, Joe is a very fun person to be around. He makes games much more lively. How me might be competitive, he comptetes well and is a great athlete. He is also very considerate of prayer as well. You can tell he will be a person who will grow up with a strong relationship with God. He's also considerate of other people a lot. He would never let anybody be left out of the loop. A great friend. And a good hugger. I can now safely say I have given you the REAL Joe.

FEAR THE MANGO!!!

Okay I have a phobia and guess what, its not of mangos. In fact my phobia doesn't actually have a name. So being the totally dorky person I am I decided I would mix up some latin and the word phobia and make up a name. Amiciticoreophbia. Amiciti=friends. Coreo=to lose. If you couldn't guess my fear in life is losing my friends. You know there are many ways to lose a friend, I think I have experienced many of them. Death is one of them that I haven't experienced, however I nearly did lose a friend to death just recently. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. How would you feel if one of your most comforting friends called you and said they had only six months to live? What would you say? Then there is the seperation factor. It happens when one of your closer friends takes off to another adventure and you are left behind to finish this one. It's saddening. This happens a lot more often and it hurts immensely. When I found out my pastor's family was moving I was crushed inside and words couldn't describe my grief my sadness over the loss of one of my best friends. I let tears flowthat night and it still wasn't enought to satiate my terror. Sometimes though you can let friendships fade. You can let the strength and closeness in friends drift off. Distance can help make this happen but so can laziness. I vow to never allow it happen again, but sometimes I think I already lost that battle. People will tell me that no matter the distance that I will always have a special connection and link to my friends. This is true, but there is still overwhelming sadness for the lost of time with that person. And what if that speical link is also broken? What if one of you deserts the other? What kind of sorrow will the left behind be left to feel? I read some stuff on the witness protection agency, and learned that the witnesses in these places have to get up leave all family and friends and never see them all again and start anew with nobody. I can't...I won't imagine a life having to leave everything that I have gained this year. God has given me the greatest friends that I could even hope for.

Summer is approaching ever so fast. I'm terrified of what will happen. As I have made closer friends this year than I have ever had I am determined to spend this summer with all of them. I don't want it to waste away without seeing all of these precious people in my life. And then comes the even scarrier obstacle in my life. Next year I will be a senior. I will have only one year left, and then what? What will happen? Will be forced to leave everyone? I think I would die.
Just recently I heard a great message from an inspiring friend. He preached about love. He made me realize that we need to have great love for our friends. He recited one my favorite verses. John 15:13 Greater love has no man that this, that he lay down his life for his friends. He said that the greatest love ever shown was not a romantic one but the one that friends share. I know of a story about this. Some of you may have heard of Kingdom Hearts. In the second one you may realize that as Sora finally found Kairi he was much more worried about finding Riku. It would seem as if his love for Riku may have been greater. It was an emotinal moment when he finally found him. They were very close friends, and Sora was a character with quite the heart for his friends. God has definately softenend my heart this year and given me a great love for all of my friends. I find myself so often thinking about them, especially the newer ones. I love you all with great passion and I don't want to imagine ever losing a single one of you. So for all my friends reading this, thank you so much for just being there.

Prayer to God: God you are the most Awesome. Thank you so much for the amazing gifts you have sent to me through my young years. Please Lord never let these sweet precious people ever leave my life. I love them all way too much. Thank you God for being an awesome friend as well. You are comforting and YOU are love. Thank you...for the BEST friends ever.