A Picture of My Mind

You know being young and carefree is really fun. What brings you down the most is when you start thinking too much about everything in life. When you start pondering the lengths of the universe and or the depths of the mind. Actually things can get really depressing because of the lack of understanding there is. I guess ignorance is bliss then. But sometimes the thinking is inevitable. In the words of a very strange artist, I'm on a train of thought and I can't stop this train. Sometimes I think I just need to have fun and not worry about life. I know God is watching over me so...I just don't know. Sometimes I wonder about personal things like "What's the purpose of Kody in my life? He's brand new to youth group and he's already intrigued me, confused me, shaken me?" He gets me thinking a lot about myself, the way I worship God, and a lot about my beliefs. I don't know if that's a bad thing or not. Maybe I'm just over analyzing all of this, but I still don't understand it. And sometimes I think why one of my most beautiful friends has refused food for the past year. Then I get myself thinking about the Silence Day coming up and the depressing fact that the church might be growing cold. I grow weary thinking about that some of my friends in youth group might leave the church and never return. And then I think I only have one year left with all of my friends and I am saddened, and then I don't know what is going to happen on after high school. And I wonder why my parents don't even try to understand my faith or anything that I try to deal with. Then it gets more serious. Why do people go to wars and then there lives are destroyed the what they've seen and what the continually deal with? Why do people down in Bolivia have such a hard time finding water all because some people have to drive five feet to where they are going? Why are mothers in china forced to drown millions of baby girls all because of the government's policy? Why am I here? What is all of this? And why am I just sitting here wasting my youth when I could be having fun with the time I do have with my friends. All I can think about though is that I don't want to lose them to anything so my goal is to cling to them and hold on to them. See what God's purpose really is. I guess I just have to wait, and do His will, and maybe someday I will see the big picture. But still I sit here and I hurt. I hurt for the hurt and hungry and those who have needs unment. I hurt for everyone. How am I supposed to think while people are being unfairly treated for what they hold their faith in? Some day. Now I wait and I can only think about the horrors that come in this world. I think about life for me and life for others, and what life is. I sit and think. I sit and cry, and think, and wonder, and I begin to sing to myself, this one sad song...

Is this the New Year or just another night?

Is this the new fear or just another fright?

Is this the new tear or just another desperation?

Is this the finger or just another fist?

Is this the kingdom or just a hit n' miss?

A misdirection, most in all this desperation

Is this what they call freedom?

Is this what you call pain?

Is this what they call discontented fame?

It'll be a day like this one

When the world caves in

hen the world caves in

When the world caves in

I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass

From broken arms an' broken noses in the back

Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

You're pushing till you're shoving

You bend until you break

Till you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay

It'll be a day like this one

When the world caves in

When the world caves in

When the world caves in

When the world caves in

When the world caves in

When the world caves in

There's nothing here worth saving,

Is no one here at all?

Is there any net left that could break our fall?

It'll be a day like this one

When the sky falls down

and the hungry and poor and deserted are found

Are you discontented?

Have you been pushing hard?

Have you been through and down this broken house of cards?

It'll be a day like this one

When the world caves in

When the world caves in

When the world caves in

Is there nothing left now?

Nothing left to sing

Are there any left to haven't kiss the enemy?

Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

Justice never finds you,

do the wicked never lose?

Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?

And nothing is okay

Till the world caves in

Till the world caves in

Till the world caves in

Till the world caves in

Till the world caves in

Until the world caves in

Until the world caves in

Until the world caves in

Until the world caves in

Until the world caves in

Until the world caves in