Ordinary Rarity Pt. 1

Gabriella. What a girl. She lived in a miniscule town, but this was an entire world to her. A world full of thieves and goblins, of princesses and warriors, of magic and enormosity, and she ruled it all. Of course as a ruler of such a vast land she lived atop the mountain so she could see all looking both ways. To the right of her castle lay a vast market and on the left of her castle lay her school but along with the school came a large piece of land where all the magic of her world dwelt.
Gabriella attended this school for many years since she was very young. Starting there she had no idea tha of what she owned. She would show up to this academia and follow the rules very precisely so as to be a good girl. During the nap times she would nap, and during the play times she would sit quietly and talk to the dinosaurs that roamed the classroom.
Every other day the keeper of the dinosaurs would show up. His name was Jacob and he was deeply admired by Gabriella. He was also short like Gabriella with long brown hair and very simple brown eyes that matched his skin tone. He knew all the dinosaurs very well their names and their likes. He also adoredGabriella for her gentleness with them. She often took one of the Brontosaurus' and gently caressed it's blue skin for ours just admiring it.
Gabriella was normally a shy girl, not wanting to make much social contact with anyone around, in fact she kept a nice space bubble around her and the other classmates, however in this instance she took up courage and spoke with the keeper. He was a little cautous talking to her, squinting his eyes in a deal of droubtfulness in the trueness that she supposedly spoke from. She made no more than small talk bout how the dinosaurs were doing and how much she liked them. Sometimes during the break times that were given to the children Jacob and Gabriella would go off together and spend time digging through the time rocks looking for treasures or flying along the air roads in the sky. Jacob was always a little cautious around her, but he never said no. He was a kind quiet gentleman who did always as Gabriella asked.
Gabriella was not a snotty young girl either though. But she did have ambition and she did have wants that she expressed. She wasn't unkind to Jacob in anyway, in fact she did what she could to stay on good terms with him. She enjoyed his prescence, but mostly enjoyed having a close friend to which she could talk to in this immense school.
Gabriella eventually learned of her other classmates by the end of her first schooling year and she became very good friends with the keeper. They stayed friends during the summer, holding a mysterious bond, for during the summer they were to never see each other. This could easily be assumed because Gabriella started her first adventure that summer and she first hand discoverd the land she lived in and the power she had obtained. Of the magica that flowed through the very mountain she lived on and the backyard of her own castle. She learned of it all in that one summer...

"Friends are born, not made..." - Henry Adams

"You're right. I'm a terrible person. Shoot me why dontcha?"

You know what I hear over and over again from just about everybody? "You're such a nice person. In fact you're too nice." I'd like to believe these people, and sometimes I actually do, but I know better than that. I know that really, through this crusyt body of mine, I'm a monster. I was sitting in a car with one of my best friends when I splattered off this quote. I like to joke around and pick on people and so does he. Something got brought up about something nice that I did and I said this. He couldn't stop laughing. It's funny to watch him laugh. He starts cringing and rolling up into a ball and his mouth becomes a colossal size and I can't help but grin back at him.

It's this same friend that I proved that I am a monster to. This morning I was being a joking guy again and I was picking on the people in my sunday school group. I went a little far though ended up saying something pretty terrible. We're a pretty sarcarstic bunch of kids in our group, and I guess I just got in that mood of sarcasm but said somthing that went a bit over the edge.

I had to sit there for the rest of the hour and watch him cringing again. This time it was for a different reason. This time I had to watch him go through torture, pain, emotioanl catastrophe, because I was a jerk. And what's worse is that I didn't exactly own up to my faults right away.

Afterwards I was worried about him because of his episode during sunday school and so I wanted to make sure he was alright and to make sure that it was me that caused him the pain. It took a lot of waiting around for him to finally get up after the session but he darted off to the bathroom. "Great," I thought to myself sarcastically. "Now he's runnning from me."

He came out eventually and I was busy catching up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. He tried to sneak past me, but I was too quick. I grabbed him and told him to follow me.

That's when we went into the sanctuary and it was confirmed. I am a monster.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "You made me feel bad," he responded. My stomach dropped. That's where it all went down again. I had to watch him rush feelings of sorrow at me, and I WAS THE CAUSE OF IT. And that's where this saying almost comes true.

The only times I have ever even slightly felt suicidal in my life is when I know I've hurt someone. And to know that I hurt someone that I love a lot, kills me even more. Those are the times when I wished that I could just shoot myself, drink some poison, or break my arms, and it would all be better. But it won't be better. In fact, it would only make things worse. So now I sit with my own punishment, the wish for death, and torture of guilt. Sorrow. It's the life of a monster.

(P.S. I don't want a lot of responses or mailings or anything talking about how I shouldn't kill myself. Everyone should know that I would never do such a thing and I'm just expressing the way I feel to you. Please don't bug me about that.)

For those of you who pass by:

All this post will be as a special request. Could all of you just make a small special prayer right now for a friend of mine who is going through troubles. Thank you.