Dance Like a Fool

I haven't visited this in a lifetime and my writings are generations old. I need to keep up on this. I say a lot of stuff that I "need" to do. Sometimes I wonder if saying that I need to do something automatically means I won't do it.

I hope that my sudden return is welcomed. I have faded from this place and I wonder if those around me have too. Speaking of fading. I'm afraid that I have more than just faded from a writing post; I have distanced myself from my close walk with God himself. My first love. It does and kind of doesn't surprise me that He knew it would happen. He wrote it down. We would stray and I did.

Over a year since I have written....have I changed? Yes, even I can see that. My walk with God isn't as close. I know He's there and I know He's watching. I even talk to Him sometimes. I don't have that connection with Him like I used to tho. I don't listen to Him nearly as often and I don't turn to Him on a regular basis with my daily debate with life. (No reference to suicide.) I see myself not as sure of even a concrete foundation anymore.

I miss it.

I miss being close, having an answered prayer, praying to a Father who treats me like His son.

I'm writing again because I saw that one of my last posts was on resolutions. I realize that I need to set some more. I want to keep up. For those of you who may be reading, thank you. Thank you for thinking on this situation and possibly hoping that my goals are reached. If you do not speak that is ok. I will always have one reader.

A while ago, while attending a week long Christian organization I was asked what I wanted to achieve with my walk with God that week. I was general. "I want to grow closer to God." I meant that. I had no specific need I just wanted to be in a place where i physically as well as emotionally and all those other ally's FEEL God.

I want that again.

Let's pick it up people. Let's get this show moving again. Let's continue this young boy's adventure.