A Father At Last

A Father at Last

God is an awesome Father and I am so glad to call Him that. When I was only about one year old my parents split up and I went to live with my mother. When I was two years old my mom met my step-dad during a huge flood and they got together sometime after that. So for the rest of my life I questioned the influence of a father in my life. I didn't get to see my dad very much and my mom kind of advocated against him a lot. With me being a child I tended to take her side a lot. My step-dad was an unreasonable man who was pretty harsh on my as a child. He thought he was using tough love to shape me; actually he was just making me hate him more. He took care of me, and I guess he loved me, but he never showed it to me, and I guess he didn't know. I grew up hating my step-dad and thinking that fathers aren't good people. My mom and my older brother were the only people I think that really cared for me and took care of me.

I am older now and I do realize that my step-father was looking after me, but I still don't feel his love, nor do I see it. I still don't see him as a true father, because I can't. I still think that the way he raised me and my brother was all wrong and how it may have taught us some good things, it also taught us a lot more bad things. I ended up learning a lot more from my true Father than my step-dad.

That's why when I became older and more attached to God I started taking Him in as my Dad. He raised me, taught me, and mostly cared for me and kept me safe. Don't get me wrong. I do a have a place for my mom and dad and my step-dad. But God did more than anyone could ever do, and He loved me more than anyone. He knows how to raise a son. And He gave His Son for me. I don't deserve that, but I love Him for it. He comforts for me always. Whenever, I have trouble, I talk to God and He helps me get through it. He has allowed for me to cope with living with a stranger, and growing up in a strange city.

However petty this may seem, my freshman year I went to our winter dance and I asked a girl to that dance. She said we would meet up at the dance, considering we were just friends we wouldn't do the whole dinner thing first. I sat on the stairs at the dance for the whole night and she never showed. I wasn't angry at her that night just sad. So I called my mom to come pick me up and I walked out side where, guess what, it was raining. But I guess I didn't care. I went home got cleaned up and went to bed. As I was lying down I decided to turn on the radio and there was a song playing, and the song said to just forget about my worries and sleep them away because God has my back and He loves me. That's what I needed that night. God's love made me sleep so well that night. I couldn't believe that God would do so much for me.

This is why I have adopted the verse Psalm 34:18 as it says "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalms 66 also talks about his as it talks about caring for the fatherless. He is awesome, but He is also love.